Thursday, May 28, 2009

Me & FaMiLY

Family is all about gift from Allah. Each of us has family. Family makes us happy when gather and spend time with full of happiness. Every body in this world wish to has happiest family, good family and nice family. Become apart of your family bind you of one another no matter what were happened and how bad it is. We should love our family and same as your family, they should love you right?

I have been kind of pain lately. There are a lot of thing that I think shouldn’t be happened to me in one hardest time. I am just kind of normal human being. I have feelings too just same likes others. I think I really have not been too good this year. I am kind of upset because I really like my family. I love them all. Even though some time I say I don’t, and some time I even think I don’t. Do you get that what I mean? I feel complicated about my family especially with my mother, uncle, auntie and even my grandmother. Deep down I always love them all but I think they forget to love me as their daughter, nephew and granddaughter just same like others.

Since I was born I was only close with my late grandfather. I think my grandfather is one and only family that I have. Thing start to getting worst after my late grandfather left me forever. I know he don’t mean to leave me but he just need to left. He left e when I am 12 years old. He left me for a full of love around me. In fact, up until today all of my needs finance by his saving. Recently, I think I am in the hardest time. One of my late grandfather land property will be pay by the government on purpose of NCER project or be more specific ‘PROJEK LANDASAN KERETAPI BERKEMBAR WILYAH UTARA & STAR CENTRAL’ for very soon. Since that every body start talking and arguing one another about money. I have not said anything bout that. That’s my money then what makes them so eager bout that. I will divide that money to each of them. No worry, I will always stick with my words. In fact, I registered my grandmother to perform haj this year. About few months to go and now she attending haj course. It course about RM 17 000.00 only for the fees. I have not received the money yet. May be this end of years then this thing will be settle. I don’t really understand why every body so eager about that. I give my words to all of them. I can’t do anything if government doesn’t pay me. Just have a little faith people. When I spend my time at home around all my family member they like to talk bout this. MONEY!MONEY! and MONEY again and over again. That’s make me bored.

Honestly, I love my family very much. In my fantasy world I always imagine that I have loving and happiest family. Most of the time I feel like, I am a stranger in my family. I don’t know how I should please them. I am trying my best to be a good daughter, good nephew and good granddaughter. I don’t care how much it will hurt me but I need to keep promise that I made with my late grandfather. I’ll be good and nice towards my family. I must love them no matter what happened between us. My grandfather always reminds me that compulsory for me to love my family and to take care of them. He always told me that my family loves me but they just only don’t want to show it to me. They try to play with me so I will be stronger person in this world.

I hope that we can forget about money for a while and start to love each others. I wont asked for me. I just need my family who will love me. That’s all. I am waiting for that moment too long. I am working very hard to get it. I MISSED MY FAMLY VERY MUCH!!!


I DO BELIEF THAT LOVE IS ALL AROUND ME. WHAT I NEED TO DO? I JUST NEED TO FIND IT AND WORK TO GET IT.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

keep the spirit up gurl.

sHuHaDa said...

amin:)

sHuHaDa said...

thanx:)